SCO and their lame lawyers

SCO is really hard on now on the battle against Linux. Now they have started to sue individuals including Linus Torvalds, creator of the Linux kernel. That is such a dirty thing what SCO tries to do to. I have been reading news about SCO law suits humorously but now this is starting to get too personal by suing individuals developers.
Soon they will probably sue people who use loops in their code. Maybe that would be a nice way for me to make millions from software… By patenting if and when condition. :D
Therefore ANYONE who is using if or when condition in their code has to pay me 1€ per condition. If you copies of your application containing if clause you need to pay only 50 cent’s per condition. :)